"Life's to Short to be anyone else"- anonymous stranger

I am a creation. Creations serve a purpose, usually one that the artist intends to speak using its art form.  When I create I feel very deeply about what it is I am trying to express through my piece.  What happens if the creation is not expressing what it was created for?

I have a creation inside of me.

I'm an artist, artist create...right? What happens when artists don't create?  Hmm...they get stopped up, stuck, creatively constipated.  That's just it though, artists are storytellers, observers, visionaries, communicators for life.  I'm a communicator of the expressions of the heart.  My dad says it's selfish of me not to share this part of me.  I agree.  I'm not quite sure what holds me back from creating, except of course for that fear of failure.  I don't think that thing will ever go away until I just do it, do it the best way I can, the best way I know how, not the best way I've seen it done.  I guess it all comes down to my insecurity. That junk holds me up...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!  

I've been screaming a lot lately, mostly on the inside, though I have let it rip a couple times on the street.  I have rage built up on the inside of me.  Anger and frustration that I can express in one word, rage.  And it has a voice, it is a deep grunting scream from the depths of my soul.  I don't know where this came from, but anger is an emotion I'm not as familiar with compared to the others.  This rage needs an outlet.  I don't feel the need to hit anything, but I cannot express the intensity of which I feel the need to scream. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

sigh, sigh.  Am I going crazy?  No...no I remind myself.

I have a creation inside of me, that has lied dormant for years.  YEARS.  One that God spoke to me on the very night I came to really know Him.  I have purpose and intent just lying in my womb.  Ohhhh God.  I feel it so strongly. Help me to give birth.  I can make so many excuses but when it comes down to it, I don't think I will fill the freedom and fulfillment my heart longs for until I express myself.  That's what artists do, they express themselves. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...ahhhh.  the rage turns to tears...and my heart still aches.

I'm out of excuses.

I feel so intensly.

I can't turn it off.

So I'll make something of it.

It began from a scream that ran so far into my being, that it brought me to tears.

If lifes a dream, someone must have woken me up.

Control I have not, but trust I will gain.

I'm just a rich kid trying to find my way.

Help me oh God.

You hear the cry of the oppressed, and answer.

I am oppressed in my own mind, by my own ways.

Deliver me from evil.

May your intent for me be fulfilled.

I heard a girl on the subway say,"I am me...Life's to short to be anyone else"

Her confidence resonated in my heart.

I dream... a lot.

I spend much of my reality, in nonreality.

I'm learning to find my footing in this realm of reality.

My dreams gave me so much room to live out all that I think I can be.

Dreams can come true.

Now I'm just rambling....

ok, I'm done.